I have not stopped competing. But I have been asking myself whether to put poker on hold. If I do, I risk losing what I have accomplished so far. People may forget me, and someone else may take the lead. If I do not, I keep paying a high price, with less money and a full head. An owner deciding whether to change direction, or to close before bankruptcy, is having the same discussion. I have not decided. This is how I am thinking about it, and what I would ask you.

What I am afraid of losing

I started playing in 2022. In March I won a WSOP Circuit ring. When I picture stepping back, I think about three things: what I have accomplished so far, people forgetting me, and someone else taking the lead.

I also have to be honest about the other side. When I went independent, I wrote that if it failed I could go back to a salaried job, and that part of me would be glad. So what I say I want is not always the whole story. Before I count what a pause costs, I need to know what I would be pausing.

Vision, dream, goal or whim?

What I want from life is to work, travel, study, be with people, connect, contribute and keep developing. Poker is one road to it. These words get mixed up, and that is how a whim gets the budget of a dream.

A whim or a nice-to-have is fine. I play partly for the fun, and I want to keep that. Give it the budget of something fun.

From the outside, a whim and a goal are not always easy to tell apart. I was not even supposed to be at the tournament where I won my ring, and going was not a small investment for me then. It could have looked like a whim. I wrote then that I saw myself as a poker athlete, that I had set goals for the year, and that there was an opportunity and signs from the universe. It cost me something real, and I went.

A WSOP bracelet may not happen in this lifetime. So I tell players to plan as if it needs 200 years, and to make it a road they would keep and enjoy even if they never see the end. On that horizon, what does one year away really change? A pause stops the goals: this season, these events, this ranking.

Five tests

They do not add up to a score.

1. The price

   What am I willing to give up for this in the next 12 months? Money, hours, people. If I can name it and accept it, it can be a goal. If the answer is nothing, it is not a goal yet.

2. The road

   If this road closed, would what I want still stand? If yes, the road is not the vision, and I can change it.

3. The silence

   Would I still want it if nobody ever found out? If not, what I want may be recognition. That is a fair thing to want, and there may be cheaper ways to get it.

4. The return

   If I stop for a set time, does it come back on its own? If it does, it is more than a whim. If I am exhausted, this test says little until I have rested.

5. The pull

   Do I choose this, or do I feel I have to? Researchers separate a passion you choose from one you feel pressed into.¹ Someone who cannot stop will pass the price, the silence and the return. If that sounds like you, read about responsible play.

What a pause really costs

I do not want to make this sound cheap.

Someone else may take the lead, and may keep it. That risk is real. The question is what the lead gives you: students, invitations, pride. Each one has a different price to keep.

Being forgotten is a separate fear. Epictetus listed reputation among the things not in our control.² You can split visibility in two: what your work needs, and what you want. The first can be kept up through writing, coaching and talks, without a buy-in. The second is the one to look at honestly.

Some players have stepped back in public. Vanessa Selbst left professional poker for a hedge fund in 2018 with three WSOP bracelets, and wrote that she had reached a crossroads: "change my relationship to the game or move on".³ Liv Boeree left her PokerStars sponsorship in 2019, said she would still play now and then, and worked in science communication. In December 2024 she finished fourth in a $25,000 WSOP Paradise event for $2.8 million.⁴ James Obst stopped in 2018 to try professional tennis, returned in 2023 and won a bracelet in 2024.⁵ These are the stories that get told, so they say little about how often it happens.

There is also regret. Over the long run, people tend to regret what they did not do more than what they did.⁶ That is why I would give a hold a date: the question stays open, and I know when I will look at it again.

What continuing costs

Continuing looks free because nothing changes today. Seneca wrote that people guard their property and give away their time.⁷ Nobody sends an invoice for the hours and the head space a tournament takes from everything else.

Some of this will not be settled by more information. The philosopher Ruth Chang argues that some choices are hard because neither option is better, and that by putting yourself behind one, you decide who you are.⁸ I start my coaching from identity, so this sits close to how I work.

If you pause, plan the pause

Without a date and a condition, you will not know whether you paused or left.

1. Write the review date

   A real date. Tell one person what it is.

2. Write the condition for coming back

   For example: your living costs are covered, and there is money set aside for playing.

3. Keep a small dose

   A few chosen events a year, or one hand review a week. Try it and see what it holds.

4. Write what you are letting go

   The ranking you will not chase, the events you will skip.

5. Pick what gets the time

   Name it before you start.

In a business: change direction, shrink, sell or close

Not every closure is a failure. In a US Census Bureau survey of firms from the early 1990s, 29% of owners whose business had closed called it successful at that point, and the author argues that many closures are planned exits: a sale, a retirement.⁹ The harder part is timing, because every month of delay spends money you could use to pay people or start again. So set the limit in advance.

These are signs to check with an accountant. Healthy businesses borrow too, so debt alone proves nothing. Look at this while you can still pay your people and your suppliers. If you already cannot pay everyone, see a lawyer before you pay some and not others, borrow more or sign a personal guarantee.

Stewart Butterfield shut his game Glitch in 2012 with enough cash left for severance, and told investors he would give back what remained unless they wanted to back his next idea. Accel stayed with him, and the company became Slack, built from a messaging tool the team had made for itself.¹⁰ I would not count on that ending. What I take from it is the order: he stopped while there was money left.

Where I am

I have not decided. I am asking about competing, and my coaching goes on. I have already written what I want from poker: to become a good enough player in my own way, as an amateur, and keep the fun part, the people and the social side. That is close to Selbst's first option, changing my relationship to the game. I have a long way ahead.

Four questions for this week

1. What is the life I want?

   One sentence. Describe a normal Tuesday.

2. Which of my plans is a vision, a dream, a goal or a whim?

   Put each plan in one column.

3. What is each one costing me this year?

   Money, hours, head space, people. Give each the budget of what it is.

4. If I paused for six months, what would really fade, and what is my review date?

   Write it, and send it to one person today.

I would like to hear from you: what have you put on hold, and what did it cost? Write to me on WhatsApp.

General thoughts on decisions, not financial, legal or investment advice. Poker is for players 18 and over. If you play with money you need for living, or find it hard to stop, read about responsible play.

Sources

1. Vallerand, R. J., et al. "Les passions de l'ame: On obsessive and harmonious passion." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 85(4), 2003. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
2. Epictetus. The Enchiridion, section 1, translated by Elizabeth Carter. classics.mit.edu
3. Vanessa Selbst retires as a pro poker player. PokerNews, 2 January 2018. www.pokernews.com
4. Liv Boeree and Igor Kurganov split from PokerStars. PokerNews, November 2019. Results of the 2024 WSOP Paradise Super Main Event, PokerNews. www.pokernews.com www.pokernews.com
5. James Obst wins second career World Series of Poker bracelet after returning from pro tennis hiatus. Card Player, 18 June 2024. www.cardplayer.com
6. Gilovich, T., and Medvec, V. H. "The experience of regret: What, when, and why." Psychological Review 102(2), 1995. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
7. Seneca. "Of the Shortness of Life", chapter III, in Minor Dialogues, translated by Aubrey Stewart, 1900. www.gutenberg.org
8. Chang, R. "How to make hard choices." TED, 2014. www.ted.com
9. Headd, B. "Redefining business success: Distinguishing between closure and failure." Small Business Economics 21(1), 2003. webarchive.library.unt.edu
10. The Slack origin story. TechCrunch, 30 May 2019. techcrunch.com